Teaching English and Experiencing Intergenerational Shift of Bantawa as a Mother Tongue: An Autoethnographic Inquiry

Abstract

In this study, I have identified a burning issue that has been implicit within me since I started teaching English at a college. The research issue is grounded in the socio political structure of English language teaching and in the prohibition and neglect of my mother tongue, Bantawa, in personal and professional spaces. Since I started teaching English, my Bantawa linguistic repertoire has started weakening; I have prioritized English over my mother tongue in my multiple walks of life. This practice not only enforces English domination in schooling but also erodes ethnic languages. In this context, I witnessed the intergenerational disruption of my mother tongue as English increasingly occupied a larger role in my linguistic life. Through this research, I aimed to explore my internal contradictions, tensions, and ethical dilemmas arising from my dichotomous roles and ideologies: advocate of mother tongue maintenance on one hand and promoter of English language learning on the other. To understand this issue, I have rationalized two research questions. Firstly, how do I experience and negotiate this contradiction? Secondly, how are my identity, emotions, and ethical positioning shaped by this dichotomy? To answer this question, I have used autoethnography as the method of inquiry, following Holman Jones (2005) and Holman-Jones (2016). To understand and view the issue precisely, I have based my narration, observation, and analysis on the foundations of three relevant theories: language ideology (Woolard, 2021), linguistic capital and symbolic power (Bourdieu, 1991), and neo-liberalism (Phillipson, 1992). I have narrated and analyzed my lived experiences as a leading writer and a member of the linguistic community of my mother tongue, Bantawa. To enrich data, I have used my memory work, journals, reflective articles, and my published articles at different times. I analyzed the data thematically and interpreted them critically, using the research paradigm for this study. After processing and analyzing the data, I found myself in a contradiction, a dilemma, and emotional tension due to the dichotomous roles of advocate and writer of my mother tongue on one hand, and promoting English while prohibiting the use of me and my students' mother tongues on the other. In this situation, I found myself constantly negotiating my roles, identity, and position across my personal and professional spaces through different forms of resistance.